Final Fantasy 8 Deleted Scenes
by Aya Hinata
Summary: Scenes that Squarsoft thought were too funny to share. My first Fanfic NOT based on Fruits Basket. Possible OOCness, but still funny! Rated for language. UPDATED!
1. The Intro

**_Diclaimer:_** I have to do this on ever first chapter of every fic I do. For once it's not based on Fruits Basket. Anyways. I Do not own Final Fantasy or FF8. However, I did buy the game. So I do sorta own it in a wierd way.

Final Fantasy Deleted-Scenes

Chapter 1: The Intro

((I don't remember the beginning to well so please bare with me))

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Subtitle: "I'll be here"

Squall: The hell!

Subtitle:"Why...?"

Squall: YOU TELL ME!

Subtitle: "I'll be waiting.. Here"

Squall: Is there an echo in here? Oh I'm getting seasick!

Subtitle: " For what?"

Squall: Tell me!

Subtitle: " I'll be waiting for you... so"

Squall: Huh!

Subtitle: " If you come here"

Squall: Where's here!

Subtitle: " You'll find me..."

Squall: WHERE!

Subtitle: " I promise.."

Squall: I'm not sure I even want to find you and- Wow she's hot OO

Girl: UGH!

(Girl slaps Squall)

Squall: Ow! The hell was that for it was a complement!

( Girl stands in a field and catches a pedal, she opens her hand and it turned into a white feather)

Girl: Damn I wanted a french Fry...

( Girl lets it fly away..)

Squall: Pretty!

( Feather comes down as a sword)

Squall: -runs- AH!

( Sword lands and is picked up by Seifer)

Squall: Yo Seifer!

Seifer: Shut up and fight me! -lunges-

Squall: -lunges-

( After awhile of fighting, Seifer scars him)

Squall: -looks up at Seifer- Oh Goddamnit! You got blood all over my jacket! Feel my wrathe you asshole! -lunges at Seifer, his sword has feathers on it! and gives him a scar back-

Seifer: OW!

Squall: -passes out- Ack...

**

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Author note: Short but funny, hehe. Next chapter starts from where he's in the nurses until when they meet Zell! Please keep in mind I havent finished the game but I know enough and god knows I don't have to follow the game's plot forever!**


	2. Headaches And Field Exams

**Author note: **Thank you! Thank you all so much for reviewing. I did try really hard to be funny, guess I succeeded then? Yay! I want to personally thank all those who read and reviewed -bows-. I havent played Final Fantasy 8 in a long time since the PS2 is broken, but I will do my best to try and remember all the text. Infact, just to get the subtitle text in last chapter I had to look up screenshots and man was that fun XX. Anyways I'm sure none of you readers want to read my ramblings so... ON WITH THE SHOW!

**

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Final Fantasy 8 Deleted Scenes **

**Chapter 2: Headaches and Field Exams**

* * *

Nurse: Hey, kid! Wake up! 

Squall: Huh? Who are you? Are you god coming to take me to Heaven!

Nurse: Oh, Seifer must have went a little TOO rough on you. How many times have I have I told him to stop trying to seriously murder his team mates? Oh! About 5 million times!

Squall: Can we NOT talk about that blonde for awhile?

Nurse: Alright, say.. Can you say your name for me?

( The screen brings up a computer keyboard, You click default because your too damn lazy to think of another name!)

Squall: Squall..? You know, I shouldn't have to tell you my name... ARE YOU THAT DUMB WOMAN!

Nurse: Alright then, seems your not too terribly injured. I'm going to go call your intructor Quistis Trepe.

( She starts walking away, looks back at him)

Nurse: And no more training. It's getting terribly hard to wash all your blood off my uniform. I don't want your cooties.

Squall: Go away already!

(Nurse walks away and calls Quistis)

(Squall see's a girl)

Elone: It's been awhile, Squally-kun

Squall: Who are you?

Elone: Uhm... uh... no one! -starts walking away before tripping- ACK!

Director: CUTT CUTT! Elone your supposed to walk away without tripping on anything! Squall your not supposed to say anything!

Squall: Screw you! I don't need somebody that doesn't know me, or my personality, putting text into my mouth! I don't want to say things I don't want! I'm going to say what I want!

Elone: He's got a point..

(She walks out)

(Quistis walks in, she sighs)

Quistis: -sighs- I knew I should have become a Computer Tech.

Squall: Oh give it a rest...

Quistis: Let's go before I fall asleep...

( They walk out)

Quistis: Your being awfully quiet Squall.

Squall: ...

Quistis: Was is something I said?

Squall: ...

Quistis: What's the matter?

Squall: It's none of your damn-

Quistis: - Buisiness... -starts laughing-

Seifer: -comes up- Oy Squall!

Squall: Oh great it's-

Quistis: Blondie bear! -she called happily-

Seifer: ... Huh? That's not in the-

Quistis: -Script..

Squall: Okay that's getting extremely-

Quistis: -Annoying...

Seifer: Why are you-

Quistis: - Finishing our sentences...

Squall and Seifer: STOP DOING-

Quistis: -That...

Squall: That's it! I'm outta here!

Seifer: Me too!

Quistis: Hey Squall! Wait! You still have to get your GF Ifrit!

Squall: GF? -asks stupidly- I don't want a Girl Friend!

Seifer: Not Girl Friend! Guardian Fighter! You dumbass!

Squall: DON'T YOU START WITH ME!

Seifer: DO YOU WANT ME TO SCAR YOUR OTHER EYE!

Squall: WANT ME TO STEAL RINOA!

Seifer: Do you- hey you havent even met Rinoa yet!

Squall: SO WHAT!

Quistis: Alright break it up! Squall! Let's go get your GF now!

Squall: Oh fine!

(They walk until they reach the cave entrance)

Quistis: Instructor Quistis Trepe, with student Squall Lionhart. Requesting permission to enter.

Guy#1: Please select time limit...

Squall: I hate time limits, they are in every game... They suck ass!

Quistis: Make it unlimited or else I'll kick ya in the balls!

Guy#2: Request accepted. The time limit has been set to "Unlimited Mode", so tale as much time as you want!

(They walk in and after awhile they meet up with Ifrit)

(Ifrit was watching T.V. The news to be precise)

Ifrit: Damn, I hate it when someone wants to tame me... -looks at them- and you two must be them. Honestly do I have to fight you?

Squall: -casts Pheonix- NOW YA DO!

( -I always called the lightning bird Pheonix, and looking back on it now, I don't know why-)

Quistis: -casts Shiva- HOW ABOUT A LITTLE ICECREAM!

Ifrit: OH NO! THEY HAVE SHIVA! Damnit, Shiva, you cheated on me with these weaklings!

Shiva: ...? Hey your the one who wanted to be all fiery, not me!

Squall: Stop fighting and join already!

Quistis: Can I bribe you?

Ifrit: oooh! Gil! How much?

Quistis: 5000 Gil..

Ifrit: Make it 6000 and you got yourself a deal...

Quistis: Deal.. -gives 6k-

Ifrit: -jumps around- woot! Well you have one! -goes into Squalls brain-

Squall: Oh I got a headache...

(They go back to Balamb Garden)

Squall: -goes to dorms and puts on his uniform, eventually he meets Sophie- ...?

Sophie: Oh hi! Are you going on a field mission too!

Squall: Yes.. And you are?

Sophie: I'm Sophie! I'm going on the field mission in hopes of becoming a Seed!

Squall: -stares for a second- a Seed? What kind? An acorn tree seed?

Sophie: Don't joke! Seed's are the most important people in all the world! They protect the innocent and punish the evil!

Squall: If you ask me it's all these crazy giggly girls who are evil...

Sophie: Hey what's that supposed to mean!

Squall: Nothing let's just go to the directory...

( The soon arrive at the directory)

Seifer: Wait, let me guess... I'm on his team? -points at Squall-

Squall: There's just no way in hell that I'm on his team! -points at Seifer-

Quistis: You are correct... Infact there's one more... Zell?

(Zell comes flipping over, and makes a thumbs up pose)

Zell: Yo! The name's Zell Ditch!

Seifer: Don't fall in a ditch...

Zell: So you wanna be a wiseguy, eh!

Quistis: That's aslo going to be your Squad captian...

Zell and Squall: SAY WHAT NOW!

Sophie: Haha! You two get the spycho! -goes off to find her squad captain-

Seifer: Say what?

Quistis: You heard me correctly...

Squall: OH HELL NO! THIS GUY GOES EVIL IN THE END! I DON'T WANT HIM AS MY CAPTAIN!

Seifer: HELLO! I'm not the sappy one!

Zell: Shut up... I got a schedule to go to a rave when we get back...

Squall: You mean IF we get back...

Seifer: If... If is good...

(Pain and Panic appear)

Pain: YOU STOLE

Panic: OUR LINES!

Squall: Shut -kills Pain-

Seifer: up! -kills Panic-

Zell: The hell did they come from!

Author: Since when did Disney characters appear in squaresoft? Oo

All: I don't know!

Author: Anyways, on with the show!

Zell: I don't want to be ordered around by you...

Fujin: Deal with it... I'm going...

(And here comes the headmaster!)

__

End

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**Author Note: **Woot! chapter two done! I have gotten the idea to bring in characters from other animes and games soon. Because I'm really bored about it. Sorry that this chappie wasn't that funny. Gomen! I will keep trying!


	3. Field Exams and The Blonde Duo

Author's note: Thanks to all of you reviewers! Woot! Finally chapter 3! Wee! In this chapter you will meet one of the world's two most favorite Final Fanatasy main character males! CLUE: They're both blond, both from final fantasy. And yes I have the game Kingdom hearts. I meant Squaresoft Final fantasy. Although KH also has FF in it too. So I guess you've got a point. Maybe I'll bring in some KH characters soon. XD And maybe some people from Fruits Basket! Woot! the ideas are coming in! On with the show!

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Final Fantasy 8 Deleted Scenes

Chapter 3: Field Exams and The Blonde Duo

* * *

(And so the headmaster explains everything cause I am too lazy to type it all, soon they go to balamb city and go on those boat shuttles to the town they are destined)

Zell: You Squall! Can I see your sword?

Squall: No...

Zell: Oh come on! Please! -makes puppy eyed face-

Seifer: Leave him alone, he said no, chicken boy...

Zell: SAY WHAT!

Seifer: Chi-cken boy

Zell: ALRIGHT THAT DOE IT! -he gets up and starts pumping his fists-

Seifer: That's supposed to hurt me? What are you attacking me with? Wind?

Quistis: Wind no Jistu!

Zell: -is sent flying back in his seat- OUCH! Damn teacher!

Quistis: Shut your mouth! I got soap and I'm not afraid to use it!

Seifer: Chicken boy...

Zell: grrr!

Squall: Haha! Chicken boy!

Zell: I'm no chicken boy!

Quistis: Shut up! We're about to enter harbor!

Seifer: Yo Squall! Go up and see what's going on...

Squall: No...

Seifer: You'll defy your commanding officer?

Squall: Commanding officer my ass...

Seifer: Go up and see...

Squall: Why don't you get off your own fat ass and see for yourself!

Seifer: Do it!

Squall: MAKE ME MONKEY BOY!

Quistis: Enough... we'll make a vote.. all in favor of Squall going up, say aye...

(Seifer is the only one who puts his hand up)

Squall: all in favor of Seifer going up, say aye.

(Everyone except Seifer puts up their hands and says Aye)

Seifer: DAMNIT!

Quistis: Looks like Seifer has to go see what's going on outside...

Squall: Haha! Unlike you people actually LIKE me!

Zell: Haha! Blonde boy's got what's coming to him!

Seifer: Try to remember Zell... Your blonde too...

Zell: Oh yeah... DAMNIT!

(Seifer goes up. He looks forward as a seagull poops on him)

Seifer: Damnit! You goddamn bird!

Zell: Haha!

Seifer: Shut up...

(They landed on the shore and everyone piled out)

Squall: I want seashells!

Seifer: no! We have to go now!

Zell: Yup...

(The 3 of them faught their way to central fountain)

Squall: Blah...

Seifer: -sigh- I hate waiting...

Zell: Waiting waiting waiting

Squall: Waiting waiting waiting

Seifer: Waiting waiting waiting

All 3: Shut up!

( That song was the rawhide song! Well anyways they wait enough and then after a few minutes of bored gameplay your one your way to the tower)

Squall: woot!

Seifer: -jumps- Come and get me!

Selphie: -falls on Zell- ack!

Zell: oof!

( they run into the tower, after awhile they arrive at the top, big satelite movie, then that big giant monster..)

Squall: -summons ifrit-

Zell: -summons Pheonix-

Selphie: -summons Shiva-

Fiend: -loses quarter half it's health-

Unknown: Oy! Need help with that!

( Squall, Selphie, and Zell look back to saw a tall blonde with a large-ass sword!)

Unknown: -walks infront of them, he does a cool overdrive and practically destroys it-

Unknown: -comes over and looks at it- Oy, I think you overdid it, Cloud!

Cloud: Yeah yeah, forget it Tidus...

Tidus: Shut up...

Squall: ...?

Zell: ...?

Selphie: THERES A HUGE SPIDER ABOVE US!

((all 6 run for it))

_The six of them ran through the town being chased. Squall is the last to enter the ship as Quistis shoots the metal bug._

(Soon they all get back to Balamb Garden)

Zell: That was fun!

Squall: Yeah if you enjoy being chased by metal BUGS!

Selphie: Okay I'm gonna go now... bai!

Zell: Rave here I come!

(Selphie, Quistis, Seifer, and Zell leave)

Squall: -sighs- right, leave me with the two blondes...

Cloud: Hey watch it pal!

Tidus: Cloud calm down...

Cloud: Why should I!

Tidus: Because I'm cuter than you!

Cloud: Nuh uh! My sword's bigger than yours!

Tidus: Damn I can't argue with that...

( We now go to Seifer)

Seifer: Some idiots really need to dye their hair... I hate sharing my hair color with dumb people...

Unknown: At least I'm younger...

Seifer: What! Who's there!

(Seifer looked at a boy with Silver hair)

Unknown: Oh me? Why?

Seifer: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!

Seifer: HEY KID! TELL ME ALREADY!

Unknown: It's not kid... Call me -does funky pose- Riku...

Seifer: Riku?

Riku: That's what I said or werent you listening?

Seifer: Shut up...

Riku: MAKE ME!

_**To be continued...

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**_

Author note: Thanks for reading. My Minions, my friends. This is Rei, signing off!


	4. The Four Teens Of the Zodiac

Author's Note: Sorry I havent updated in so long. I'm really sorry!

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Final Fantasy 8 Deleted Scenes

Chapter 4: The Four Teens of The Chinese Zodiac

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Riku: MAKE ME!  
Seifer: Oh! I'll make you, alright! (He brought up his gunblade)

Riku: ( He summons a huge black keyblade)

Seifer: (stares at it for a second... then he bursts out laughing) A GIANT KEY? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? LOCK UP MY TRAP?

Riku: Precisely.. (Riku charged)

Unknownboy#1: (watches with crimson eyes) I see stupid people...

Unknownboy#2: Can they be anymore stupid than you? ( Said a boy next to him with violet eyes)

Unknownboy#1: SHUT UP YA KUSO NEZUMI! ( Yelled the boy with crimson eyes and orange hair)

Unknownboy#3: Idiots... Can't they just kill eachother, and get it over with? (Asked a boy with greyish eyes)

Unknownboy#4: I think it's funny! Let's go talk to them! (Beamed a shoter boy with blonde hair)

Unknownboy#2: Let's not Momiji... ( Said the boy with grey hair and violet eyes)

Momiji: aww! (He sniffled)

Seifer: (looks at them) OY! Can you 4 just shut up already!

UknownBoy#3: Why don't you make us? ( He fumed)

Momiji: Uh oh...

Unknownboy#2: Haru.. let's not do this... Please

Haru: Stay out of this Yuki, I'm gonna beat the shit out of this dumb blonde!

Momiji: Hey! Don't pick on us blondes ya milk factory!

Haru: WHAT DID YOU SAY BUNNYBOY!

Momiji: I SAID NOT TO PICK ON US BLONDES WHEN YOUR A MILK FACTORY!

Haru: YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME!

Momiji: SURE WHY NOT!

Haru: BRING IT ON BIATCH!

Momiji: OH, IT'S ALREADY BEEN BROUGH-TEN! (Momiji does the preppy girl pose)

Unknown#1: Oh god this is annoying...

Unkown#2: Remind you of anyone, Kyou?

Kyou: SHUT UP, YUKI, YOU AND YOUR DAMN MOUTH!

Yuki: Why should I?

Riku: (Goes up to them) would you four please stop? Your all causing a scene...

All4teens: NO!

Riku: oh- OH YOU'VE DONE IT NOW MAN! (He puts his hand out) SUPER OMEGA POWDER PUFF FLAME!

( The four teens and Seifer stares at Riku before falling to the floor bursting into laughter)

Riku: WHAT!

Kyou: I see weirdly-dressed people... ( Looks at Riku)

Haru: I see short people... (looks at Momiji)

Momiji: I see tall people... ( Looks at everyone)

Seifer: I see weird-colored hair people (looks at the four teens)

Yuki: I see dumb-idiotic-moronic-stupid people... (Sighs, refering to everyone in the room)

Reader: I See funny people!

All characters: (looks at reader) OY! YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO SAY ANYTHING! GET OUT OF THE COMPUTER AND INTO YOUR CHAIR! YOU CAN READ BUT YOU CANT TALK!

Reader: Fine... (wallks out) assholes..

Haru: WHAT DID YOU SAY! (Haru chases the reader) GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU! (the other 3 teens hold him back)

Reader: (watching from screen) Idiot... you can't get out here...

Haru: YES I CAN! (Haru punches the computer screen and tries to grab reader)

Reader: (simply pokes Haru in the shoulder.. kinda medium, between hard and softly)

Haru: (stops... and starts sniffling... he starts crying) WAAAAAAAAAAH! MOMMY DADDY! HE POKED ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I WANT MY LAWYERS! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Yuki: Drama cow...

Kyou: Drama king...

Momiji: Drama teen...

Riku: Drama fiend

Seifer: Drama--- Whatever!

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To be continued...

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Author's Note: I'm sorry for its shortness but I wanted to get it in before people would starts spamming me and insulting me for not updating! So I hope it's funny enough for you! 


	5. What DO they do?

_**Author's Note**_:

I actually began writing this a year and a half ago, and never bothered to finish it O_o. But when I returned to , I reread all the reviews I had. Seeing all the reviews and knowing how much people liked this parody spoof story, I decide "Hey, why not?"

I made a lot of spelling mistakes before, name mistypes, and whatnot. But now I'm better at writing so it'll all be easier to deal with.

Also, I'd like to point out a sad fact. I have never finished Final Fantasy 8, I'm stuck at Shumi Villiage, (Just finished with the statue quest) and have no idea where to find the White Seed ship. So.. Yeah. I brought in characters so I could continue this spoof without having to find a walkthrough to read and know what else to put in.

* * *

So anyway:  
The parody continues! And this time I've got a funny idea for some people I'm bringing in soon. I call them "The Men in Black" . Square Enix calls them. Organization XIII.

Disclaimer: I do not own Square-Enix or it's characters. I do not own Organization XIII, nor do I own Fruits Basket. Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. Organization XIII belongs to Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square-Enix. I do not own the song that will be put here. The song belongs specifically on the Bob and Tom Show.

Ugh... No more disclaimers. I can't do them anymore, you all know I don't own any of this X . X

_**

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Final Fantasy 8 Deleted Scenes **_.. (Maybe I should start thinking of changing the story title...)  
_  
Chapter 5: What DO They do?  
_

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(What DOES Organization XIII do when they AREN'T bothering Sora?)

* * *

(We now go to a new place. Characters in hooded black cloaks, most have their hoods down.. Larxene is drumming her kunais on a table)

Larxene: All around the country and coast.

Demyx: People always say "What do you like most?"

Lexeaeus: I don't wanna brag, I don't wanna boast.

Vexen: I always tell 'em, "I like toast."

All: -laugh-

Zexion: YEAH TOAST!!!!!

Demyx: YEAH TOAST!!!!!

Saix: I get up in the mornin' 'bout six AM.

Marluxia: Have a little jelly, have a little jam.

Xigbar: Take a piece of bread, put it in the slot

Xaldin: Push down the lever and the wires get hot, I get toast~

Luxord: YEAH TOAST!!!!!

Marluxia: YEAH TOAST!!!!!

Xemnas: Now there's no secret to toasting perfection.

Luxord: There's a dial on the side and you make your selection.

Larxene: Push to the dark or the light and then if it pops too soon-

Roxas: -Press down again, mate!

Demyx: YEAH TOAST!!!!

Xigbar: YEAH TOAST!!!!

Lexeaeus: When the first caveman drove in from the drags

Saix: Didn't know what would go with the bacon and the eggs

Axel: Must have been a genius, got it in his head

Demyx: Plug the toaster in the wall, buy a bag of bread make toast.

Axel: YEAH TOAST!!!!!

Saix: YEAH TOAST!!!!!

Zexion: -turns into a french baker- Oui monsieur bonjour coquette.

Xemnas: Uh huh croissante vous a ver.

Axel: Maurice chevalier Eiffel tower.

Demyx: Oh oui maria baguette bon soir.

Roxas: FRENCH TOAST!!!!!

Axel: FRENCH TOAST!!!!!

Xigbar/Xaldin: In Chicago or on the Bob and Tom Show

All 13: YEAH TOAST!!!!!

Demyx: yeaaah!

Axel: Toast.

All: -clap several time simultaneously. times-

Larxene: -stops drumming on counter- Now I want toast...

Demyx: Let's sing it again!

Xemnas: No..

Demyx: ... Aw.... Please?

Xemnas: I said NO! -Summons a ball of dark doom-

Demyx: Okay, I'll be quiet! O . O Don't kill me!

Xemnas: -dismisses ball of doom- That's what I thought.

Larxene: I'm bored, can we go kill people?

Xaldin: Yes, let's go cause pain!

Zexion: Causing pain is for losers. Real men make it quick. Least then you don't get your uniform stained.

Demyx: Hey, Zexion, aren't you supposed to be emo, like, all Kingdom Hearts fans make you out to be?

Zexion: I'm not emo! It's the hair isn't it?! I knew I shouldn't have let Axel cut it!

Axel: But everyone loves emo cuts, Zexion! Look at all the fangirls that you have! You have so many that it's scary!

Saix: You're one to talk, you have so many fangirls that I'm wondering what it is you have that I don't.

Larxene: Well for one, he doesn't look like a woman with longass hair.... Hippy.

Saix: I'm not a hippy!

Xigbar: Hey, dudette, don't you be making fun of us, we hippies have feelings, you know. Peace, dudes!

Demyx: ... Says the guy who has sniper rifles?

Luxord: Demyx would make a better hippy, he cries if he loses at card games.

Demyx: I do not!

Luxord: Yeah, you do.

Demyx: ....................... Only because my eyes hurt from Larxene sticking her kunai in them!

Larxene: Well, then, maybe you shouldn't cheat by trying to look at my cards.

Xemnas: Guys, guys, we have more important matters to deal with.... Like why Axel has all the fangirls and I don't.

Marluxia: Probably because his name isn't the anagram of Mansex? -he asked-

Larxene: Which we know that you love all too well.

Marluxia: For the last time, just because I have Axel/Roxas yaoi fanart, doesn't mean I'm gay.

-chirping crickets-

Marluxia: What? It doesn't!

Zexion: .... Ahuuuuuuuuuuh. Right, moving on.

Larxene: -pulls down an Axel and Saix figure chart- Anyways, continuing the discussion on why Axel has more fangirls than Saix, and more than Xemnas.

Roxas: Axel's also nicer than Saix is. Though both of them have tried kidnapping people...

Axel: ... Yeah, Roxas, not really helping...

Saix: But I have scars, I look more dignified.

Larxene: However, you lack dignity. Axel helps the main character, Saix just simply annoys the players. Axel also has better lines than Siax.

Saix: But I'm more poetic!

Axel: Precisely why they like me better, I don't spew all that crap that you talk about. I'm more badass!

Demyx: Axel is also voiced, in Japanese and English, by the same voice actors that do Reno, thus adding to the pwnage.

Lexeaeus: -Grunts in response to everything-

Marluxia: And everyone knows Reno's hot as hell.

-chirping crickets-

Larxene: ... I rest my previous case. Anyway!

Saix: I don't look like a clown.

Xaldin: But you do look like a Zelda character wannabe.

Roxas: Which is a good game and all, but...

Xigbar: ... It would suck total bananas if you were in it.

Marluxa: Axel, on the other hand, will make it full of super bishi hotness!

Larxene: Again, rest my previous case...

Marluxia: What previous case?

Larxene: ... Nevermind.

Saix: What else does he got that I don't?

Roxas: Personality?

Zexion: A necessary addition to the plot?

Larxene: Good looks?

Luxord: A reason to play the game?

Axel: Oh, and I also have a big-

All: .............................

Axel: ......-Sword! Yeah that's it, a bigger sword! _

All: .............................

Saix: But, you don't have a sword, and neither do I.

Everyone else: -face palm-

Larxene: Not THAT kind of sword, you retard.

Marluxia: He meant the other kind, you silly nilly.

Zexion: -raises a brow at Marluxia's nicknames- The other kind that Xemnas, Marluxia, and the corrupted readers will understand all _**TOO**_ well.

Reader: -snickers-

Marluxia: -tee hee- Of course!

Xemnas: Why would I know?!

Saix: ........................ Like hell you do! You don't even know my size!

Axel: And we're all very much happier not knowing, thank you, -smiles-

Larxene: And that concludes why Axel has more fangirls than all of you men combined.

Saix: Damnit!

* * *

--Meanwhile--

* * *

Tidus: So this one time, I got pushed into a river by Wakka, right? Well, he failed to mention that this river was filled with not only treasure chests, but piranhnas! Who the hell swims with Piranhas?! Crazy people, that's who! So I'm trying to fight underwater, without breathing, with a big sword for like minutes at a time, and then... -continues babbling-

Squall: Oh god, please let this just end... -covers his ears-

Cloud: Oh you think that's interesting? Well, my story is better. I single-handedly took down a giant monster called Bahamut! Well, my friends helped, but I'm the superhot main character, so all the credit belongs to me! Besides, who cares about minor characters?

Squall: Just go away!!! -he exclaimed-

Tidus: Oh, how about the time when I... -trails off babbling-

Cloud: No! How about the time I... -trails off babbling-

Both: -Babbling on and on.... And on-

Squall: ....... Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! -cries echo into the vast dimensions of space-

* * *

-Fin-

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ Yes, I am back. It's a good chapter, I think, but probably not as good as my _previous_ ones. -sigh- Anyway, please **R&R**. Let me know that people still read this stuff, no point in continuing if people don't x_x.

-_**Rei**_


End file.
